This isn’t unusual for me in general except that I went to see a doctor to try and escape as fast as possible. Walking to the doctor’s was awful. I work close to the city so unfortunately my boss wanted me to go somewhere nearby (I’d told them I was having a bad reaction to medication). So the drive was one thing, at least I was by myself in an enclosed space but I can’t deal with that many people around me. When I got out I had to go to a ticket machine and then walk back to display it in my car, all the while taking so many deep breaths and sweating from how nervous I was. The doctor, who I’d never met before, prescribed me anxiety medication after I burst into tears while telling her about the panic attack I’d had that morning. So after coming home, (the doc had given me time off work… me actually telling work that was really terrifying) my boyfriend and I discussed the medication and I did some online reading and came to the decision that it’s not for me… just yet. I think I need to sit on this decision for a little while and see how I feel about it. I do have bad anxiety, and I know this medication has helped so many people but I find the idea too overwhelming to act on it right now. I’ve just started seeing a psychologist and I’m finding it so helpful to be able to discuss these issues as openly as we are and it’s making me feel… normal? Is that an offensive word? I personally think it’s more normal to have these issues than to not have them. I’ve recently tried to be open about my struggles to different people and I’ve found that almost every single one of them has/ is seeing a psychologist, or admits to being anxious, depressed and neurotic. So I’m going to start calling us the cool kind of normal from now on, cause that’s exactly what we are.